Life in 140 Characters Or Less

Life in 140 Characters Or Less

“Here: Take my debit card. Do you have some paper? A pen? Because I can write down the password for you. And there’s an ATM right around the corner.” ---Me during a run to would-be robber who wants my new Apple watch I bought for it's GPS/pacing capabilities. Little...

Life In 140 Characters Or Less

"They're all the same. Just hurry up and pick one." #SuperLottoPlus #NotGonnaWinAnyway                                                           -Me, to the person in front of the Chevron Mini Mart line who's staring at lottery tickets the way I stare at a bakery...

Life in 140 Characters Or Less

"Go ahead. Keep crab walking with your back towards me to avoid eye contact. I’m not going anywhere." -Me, to the Sprouts deli counter employee.

Life in 140 Characters Or Less

"Why didn’t anyone tell me these bobby socks look ridiculous before all the cameras showed up?” #WhatNotToWear  #INeedStacyandClinton --Dorothy Gale