Whatnot

A (Imagined) Conversation with David Sedaris

Me: I understand you’re interested in writing my biography. First, let me say I’m flattered. David: It’s something I’ve wanted to— Me: Wait. I’m not finished. Again, I’m flattered. But I’m also concerned. Your last book—what was it, Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk ?—wasn’t my...

Falling Flat

Did you watch Cake Boss? Or the Holiday Baking Championship at Christmas? Me neither. I tried Cake Boss but couldn’t do it, and not just because of Buddy’s New Jersey accent—because of the caliber of cakes these “amateurs” put out. It's nothing I relate to. Same with...

Funkytown

I checked my email early this morning and read the Daily Post. It asked if you’re good at what you do, and what you’d like to do better. Perfect timing. The last two or three days I’ve written exactly one six-line paragraph for a synopsis I’ve been working on. And the...

Me, Only Better

It’s been said we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. For the sake of argument, I’ll pretend that’s true (though really I don’t, because I spend an awful lot of time with the Target cashier and know nothing about her). Now, if it was true,...

Burnin’ Love

Okay, the house is on fire and I can only grab 5 things. Assuming humans and animals are safe, here’s what’s coming with me, in no particular order: Racing medals. Some bring back fond memories and others…well… Let’s just say some came with a price. But it’s not the...