"They're all the same. Just hurry up and pick one." #SuperLottoPlus #NotGonnaWinAnyway -Me, to the person in front of the Chevron Mini Mart line who's staring at lottery tickets the way I stare at a bakery...
"Go ahead. Keep crab walking with your back towards me to avoid eye contact. I’m not going anywhere." -Me, to the Sprouts deli counter employee.
"Why didn’t anyone tell me these bobby socks look ridiculous before all the cameras showed up?” #WhatNotToWear #INeedStacyandClinton --Dorothy Gale